Kettlebell Kings really are the kings of all things Kettlebell — they are everywhere on the internet. You can’t turn around without hitting a pathway to the kings, and that’s a really good thing. I have several bell pairs, 24kg, 32kg and 40kg — all in powder coat. Their handle design is a little thick for my grip. The embossed logo and poundage information is much kinder on your forearms in a Clean/Snatch than the opposite casting effect where the logo face of the bell claws your forearms to blood. Kettlebell Kings include shipping in the price of the bell, so you know straight away how much your order is going to cost you to move all that metal from their place to your hands. Unfortunately, if you want your Kings bells shipped safely, you need to request they at least double box your bells. The default shipping box, in my experience was one, thin, box that the bells push out of during delivery. I had one bell delivered that was completely without a box and the shipping label was taped to the body of the bell. I was fortunate the bell was not damaged in transport; so when you order your bell, leave the Kings a note on your order form that you want them to double or triple box your bell, and they’ll do it without acknowledging your request in writing.

Kettlebell Kings: Grade B+

Metrixx Elite Kettlebells are expensive, but the quality of their e-coat is impressive. I have two 16kg bells, made in the USA. The bells fit in my hand in just the right course, and their heft against the body — and even when parked — is expected and proper. The only issue holding me back from ordering more Metrixx bells is the high price. If I were starting my Kettlebells journey all over again, I’d do a better job of budgeting my working balance so that I may better afford to purchase more of these high end Kettlebells. I have spent the most amount of time with these Metrixx bells — they were the perfect starting point for my Swings, Cleans, Presses, Squats and Snatches — so I have a deep, and attached, affinity for them. We have become one even as I have moved on, and moved up, in weight. These Metrixx Elite bells have now become a top goal for my wife’s Kettlebell practice and she will not be disappointed.

Metrixx Elite: Grade B

In my fitness life, I buy a lot of Rogue products, but these Rogue Kettlebells are the first purchase that actually ring — yes, these Rogue bells actually sound like a bell if you happen to touch them together while doing doubles. Other bells sort of “clank” and “clunk” when inadvertently struck together, but the Rogue bells sing in your hands; and even if you are splitting weights, and are using one Rogue bell and another brand, the Rogue bell will still ring, and sing, when struck by the other bell. It’s sort of a magical experience. Rogue shipping is fast. I purchased two 20kg bells and the price was reasonable for an e-coat bell made in the USA. The Rogue handles are a little thick for my grip, and the reason for my grade is that the base of these bells is very tiny, and they tend to tip over even when parked on a mat. That’s a little dangerous. You don’t want a Kettlebell moving on you, or without you. It’s not possible to use these Rogue bells for push ups because the bell is not stable. You have to be really wary while parking these bells between sets because they tip over. These small base Rogue bells are clearly a design choice because I have smaller weight bells from other companies that have a more stable base while parked. Rogue wanted to make an unstable parked bell and I’m not sure why. If you choose to protect your floors with a parking mat, make sure the mat is strong enough to handle a “punch through” of a 44lb bell boring its way through the mat. I have Kettlebells that are twice as heavy that don’t do half the “mat impression damage” these Rogue bells create from the base. It’s a good thing these Rogue bells are musical, or I’d switch to a lesser sounding bell — all in the interest of safety and convenience, of course.

Rogue: Grade C

The great thing about Rep Fitness Kettlebells is their unique ubiquity. They are plentiful to purchase many places online. I purchased mine on Amazon and the price was really cheap, plus I had free shipping with my Prime membership. I have two 6kg bells and two 12kg bells — both in powdercoat — purchased mainly for my wife’s use, and for my offload days when I want to move without gassing. The Rep Bells are fine, sturdy, and well made. However, the face of these bells — the logo — is extruded, meaning it sticks out, and that causes a bloody uncomfort clawing of your forearms when the logo side hits your skin. Rep may have fixed that problem with subsequent embossed castings, but once you buy a bell, its life is going to be 300 years — with you or without you — so you should be aware of the pinnacles and pitfalls that may be waiting for you the first time you Clean a Rep Fitness Kettlebell against your body.

Rep Fitness: Grade C-

Great Lakes Girya is a Canadian company, and while they make the most excellent bells, shipping to the USA can be problematic. Plus, their customer service is so unfortunate that all the good things in their bells become null and void because bad business seeps into the hands, and rots the soul of the buyer, leaving behind a residue of regret, and remorse. That said, once you have the bells in hand, you are enchanted. The GLG Kettlebells are perfectly proportioned for both hand and body. The bells just fit. I have two 28kg bells with e-Coat. Shipping was expensive, and not included in the price of the bells. You’ll see below one of the first things I do when I get a new pair of bells is to use my hands to put chalk all over the bell so I can quickly, and easily, see the defects and unique imperfections. The GLG bells are quite beautiful, veiled in chalk, flawless, even, and they sit low to the ground, and have a wide base. The bells will not tip over while parked, and while swinging, they just simply glide in your hands. As well, Great Lakes Girya knows how to ship Kettlebells! Triple boxed, as you can see in the second image below! Plus nylon straps. Plus paper and plastic wide tape. Your GLG bells will arrive in great shape — if they arrive. The unfortunate, final grade, for Great Lakes Girya is an encapsulation of the whole experience with the company — you cannot divorce aesthetic from cruel reality. Some wrongs are never righted. Getting their bell in your hands is not worth the charge card hassle at any price.

Great Lakes Girya: Grade D+

I love XD as a company. I buy a lot of their stuff. I respect their aesthetic and work ethic. However, it doesn’t look like XD are making Kettlebells any longer, and that’s probably a good thing because, as you can see in the images below, their Kevlar Kettlebells are huge, and they have tiny, thin, handles. Yes, these bells are softer on your arms when they land on your body, but they are also bulky and difficult to control. I now use them as door stops and to hold down my weight racks. I have four 35lb XD bells, and that’s probably four too many. These XD bells were my first way back when purchase, and I bought them because I thought their soft, Kevlar, skin was amazing, and because I did not know any better at the time. As you can see in the second image below, the difference between the same size Kevlar Kettlebell and a cast iron Kettlebell is huge. One is small and hard, the other is soft and massive — yes, there’s a “That’s what she said” joke swimming in that description — and perhaps, that’s the best place to leave our XD Kettlebells, them laughing, and still sexy, while we’re weeping.

XD: Grade D-

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Training and Tyrants